Questions for the week of March 6

Series: Threesome: Me, You and God
Message: The Myths of Marriage

Opening
Review announcements and open with prayer and singing, if someone wants to lead and the group is on board.

We are taking a March Break.  Most groups will resume after break and continue through the last week in April.  Please be clear on what your group decides for this Spring.  We will be offering several courses at the Ministry Centre starting the last week in March.

Learn It: Busting Marriage Myths!  (From “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts,” Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott)

Myth # 1: We have the same expectations from marriage.
Think about your box of experiences and expectations that you bring into marriage.  Name some of the most significant ones...

• Name the unnamed rules you expect your spouse to follow  (Never show up late, sort the recyclables, hang up your coat...)
• Maybe even come up with your own “Top Ten List” of rules that you would like to be followed in the home.

• Name the unnamed roles you expect you and your spouse to fulfill (the Driver, the Bill-Payer, the Gift-Buyer...)
• Try to define the Top Three roles for each spouse.

Myth #2: Everything Good Gets Better; Everything Bad Disappears
Marriage is filled with wonderful blessings, but perhaps even more responsibilities.  What are some of the hard realities of life together?  How do you deal with disappointments and let-downs?

In marriage we change: from newlyweds, to first time parents, to empty nesters, and numerous stages in between.  How will you navigate the changes in marriage, in your spouse, and in yourself?

Marriage does not make life “happily ever after.”  We still experience pain, suffering, brokenness and sin.  What do you do with the hard reality that marriage doesn’t fix everything?  What do you do with a spouse that wants you to fix everything wrong in his/her life?

Sometimes couples need therapy.  But many find that marriage is itself a kind of therapy, helping us to examine, understand and improve ourselves.  Share examples of how marriage has been therapy for you...

Myth # 3: My Spouse Completes Me

• Enmeshed Relationships are characterized by an over reliance on your spouse, low self-esteem, and one overly dominant partner.
• Disengaged Relationships are characterized by two highly independent spouses living in isolation.  These persons also suffer from low self-esteem.
• Interdependent Relationships find a health balance of self-respect, respect for your spouse, and a commitment nurture one another in life and faith.

How would you characterize yourself, and if married, your spouse and your marriage?  Are you truly a “Threesome” marriage?

Final Thought: If you only do one thing as a couple to improve  do this: pray.

Close with a time of prayer for one another.